5 Warning Signs that You May Have a Hero Complex

Posted on Sep 23 2015 - 9:47pm by Jenee Fernandes Jones
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In this world people will sometimes fall into two categories. You've got your Lois Lanes--those high drama victims who always find it in their means to be falling from a burning building, and of course you've got the heroes who save them. Heroes and victims. Society is certainly  kept interesting by them. Since the chaotic outer world is filled with injustice and brutality, it's a happy fortune that it's also chock full of humanitarians who are harboring so much love and conviction that they are able to take a stand and help their neighbor. Yet, while altruism in action is part of the connectivity of the human spirit, sometimes it can lead to an impending downfall for those individuals who have not yet learned to keep their hero complex in check.

Are you filled with so much compassion for the world that you are a natural born fixer to the extent that you may feel unfulfilled or unresolved at the mere idea of another person's troubles? If not, you probably know someone like this. These people are such do-gooders that they make it a habit to be surrounded by victims. How do you identify them? Easily.

Hero Complex Warning Signs

1. Over eager to help

Standing idly by as they hear about the troubles of others may be just too much for these kinds of people. They only need to hear about an inconvenience and they are up offering their couch, their wad of money or their time. They need not be asked for a favor. They make it a point to volunteer without hesitation. And while this may be a good thing in some ways, a problem can occur when the energy of enabling begins. How is someone supposed to learn to stand on their own two feet if they've got you to clean up their messes for them all the time?

 

2. Surrounded By drama 

When a person is keen on helping others, they may not realize that they may be setting their social circle up to be drama central. If he or she is  not only a good person but also striving to blossom on their path of enlightenment, he or she may be creating a road filled with stumbling blocks with these actions. Creating a steady atmosphere of people who are constantly pulling you down not not only ruins your vibration, but keeps you in tune with negativity.  This is no way to develop the ideals of peace and joy along the path.

 

3. Emotionally attached 

When the wee hours of the morning come, these people should be sleeping. But instead they may be up pondering solutions to the problems at hand. Problems that don't even belong to them. Is that a tear? Probably. Because they're empathy may be so great, that they may not even be able to separate where they start, and the other person begins. Taking on the problems of others in such a way is taxing on the emotional self and is a serious warning sign. They may not realize it, but this is how one can begin to adopt the karma's of others, thus lengthening the list of things that they will need to work through on their own spiritual journey.

 

4. Little External Support

These people are heroes. When it's lost, they find it. When it's hungry, they feed it. Everyone knows who they have to count on to get the job done. Our local hero. And that's a problem. Because these people may be so accustomed to helping others, that they have forgotten to cultivate a working support system for themselves. Who are they going to go to for help? The people who keep falling a part all over the place? The people who can't keep themselves together? Probably not. And when you've made a habit of playing the hero, that's usually who you've got in your circle.

 

5. the fixer upper relationship

Ever look at two people and wonder what the heck they're doing together in a relationship? If you've ever done this, it's probably because one of them is so lost and limited, while the other is growing on their path in leaps and bounds. People with hero complexes will often put themselves in low vibrating relationships due to the belief that they can fix or change the other person enough to get them to be where they need to be. Or they may be so in love with a person out of sympathy, that they want to expend all their energy trying to get their mate to grow past their circumstances of suffering. You will rarely find these people in relationships of equality. Because how can you  be a hero, if the person that your with doesn't need to be saved?

 

So do any of these signs resonate in your own life?

If so, it's time to re-assess your methods and address how you plan to bring balance into your life. Really think about what your life could be like if you took better care of yourself and consider making changes so that you can be healthier, happier and in balance.

 

Know Your Limits

Just because something is happening to someone doesn't necessarily mean that it is appropriate for you to be involved. Use discernment to analyze whether your contribution to the person's conflict is truly necessary. Maybe there are more qualified people who would do a better job? If your qualifications don't fit the bill, keep it moving.

 

Learn Detached Compassion

It's the art of caring about people and feeling sympathy for the suffering they may be experiencing, but remaining detached from the outcome of their problem. You don't have to make their problem your own. It may not be your job to change or fix anything in a person's life. It may just be that what is best for you and the person involved is to offer the kind of love that will heal, but without accepting the drama as your own. That doesn't mean becoming a cold and aloof rock. It just means letting go of the desire to impose yourself upon the result. Remember, it's his problem. It's her problem. And you just need to love them enough to let them work through every minor detail on their own.

 

Honor Your Own Needs

When was the last time you took a good long look at yourself and your own needs? How many times have you drowned in another's conflict because you were too busy looking out for them. You were placed into the world to become something great, but how can you do this if you are constantly neglecting what you truly need? Give yourself permission to say no sometimes. It's okay. The world will survive. Because sometimes even Superman needs a break.

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Jenee Fernandes Jones

About Me Jenee Fernandes Jones

The divine spark that lives within us all permeates every part of us once we begin to awaken to the nature of our true self. Joy is an intrinsic value that exists in us all. One Joyful Journey is the creation of Jenee Fernandes Jones, a writer and student of holistic and natural living.

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